Dear sweet mama on this Mother’s Day,
I hope it is a joyous day for you. I hope it’s a day full of adorable drawings, half-cooked pancakes, and homemade macaroni necklaces or some such cuteness. I hope that no matter the melt-downs, the snotty noses, the spills, you are so blinded by your love for being a mommy that it’s a beautiful day no matter the mess.
Although we are thankful everyday for being a mom, today holds special pause, and I hope you are able to take it in and dwell in it.
I realize though, that for many of us it is not sunshine and snot… it’s heartache and sorrow.
To you sweet mama, I write today.
Sweet mama with empty hands. How excited we have been to see that little pink line. It’s a day of jumping up and down, of crying in joy, of thanking God, of calling our own mom to share the exciting news. It’s a day that you know has changed the course of your life forever, and you can’t wait to see how and start the crazy adventure. And yet… how utterly devastating it is weeks later when God calls that little one home, never to be held this side of heaven.
Empty hands. Arms that expected to be filled, to be warmed by a little fuzzy infant, are left hanging, choking in silence. It feels like a cruel joke and this day only amplifies that hurt. I am so sorry sweet mama. I pray you are at peace today. I pray that you feel God’s comforting arms around you as you walk through the day. And I pray that if your pastor asks for all the mommies to stand to be prayed for, that you stand. You are a mom, a beautiful one, and we recognize you, we see you, and we care about you. May God’s supernatural grace flood your heart today and always as you continue to trust in the giver and taker of life.
Sweet mama who is celebrating with her babies, while silently missing the one not with you. My heart aches for you. I know that raw hurt, I know that inner scream that is so loud you can’t hear anything else yet no one around you seems to notice. You yearn for your missing love, yet juggle being joyful with the ones you have. I am sorry.
I’m sorry you’re missing your own, I’m sorry they’re not here with you, and I’m sorry that we don’t know the words to say to make it any better. I’m sorry this day is so bittersweet and that you know the pain of losing a child. Please know this: God sees your pain, God knows your pain, and God is near. He knows what’s like to miss His child and He has you and your little one in His merciful hand. Lean on Him today sweet mama, lean on Him.
Sweet mama who yearns to hold the baby you so deeply desire. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you have to deal with yet another commercialized day that makes you feel empty and less than the gorgeous princess of the King that you are. I’m sorry that your heart has a desire that may or may not be met, that you give over to the Lord continuously, but this day reminds you of how strong that pull is… to be a mom. I’m sorry that today will be a painful day for you.
Please remember that you are a beautiful image of trust and faith and joy to the rest of us and we hold you in very high esteem, we really do. Not only that, but God holds you in very high esteem. Keep holding on, keep keeping on. God has you here in this very place, in this very season to glorify Him and you are doing an amazing job.
Sweet mama who feels like a failure as a mom, making this Mother’s Day a day you wish would be over as quick as it came. You are not a failure. I feel I must say it again to make sure you are hearing me. You are NOT a failure.
No matter if your baby doesn’t know the night from day or your toddler is peeing on the wall as we speak. If your pre-teen is in his room after yelling that he hates you, your daughter hasn’t been heard from all year, or your son who was a baby yesterday is today a man and walking a very dark path. You are not a failure. God loves you today as much as He did two thousand years ago when He sent His only son to die for you and He would send His son to die for you again… even if it was just you.
We all mess up, we all can improve, we all can lean in to the Lord more and more. Lean in, be comforted today in His mercy, cry out to Him on behalf your children, and rest in His care. Rest in His perfect care.
Sweet mama who is going this alone. Yes, you have adorable, healthy, smart children… yet today will be a day like any other. There isn’t a daddy around to help make a mess in the kitchen. There isn’t a hubby in the picture to get the kids ready for church while you sleep in. There isn’t extra in the budget for eating out today, for buying a new outfit, for getting yourself something that is supposed to be from the kids because you’re supposed to have a present.
You work hard, very, very hard, every single day. Every day you are mom and dad and even at bedtime the work doesn’t end. You are my hero and I dare say you are a hero to many. How many of us moms count down the minutes until our husband gets home to hand off the kids to him because we just can’t do it anymore. You don’t have that, and yet what amazing grace you carry yourself with. I nod my head to you, I pray to God for you, and I thank you for doing such a mighty job of raising young men and women on your own. Well done mama.
Sweet mama home alone. As our children grow visits back home sometimes don’t happen as often and for some mamas, this day is not going to be spent with your babies. It’s been many years of wiping noses and booties, feeding little ones, staying up late to do homework, driving here and there and everywhere, having late night chats, learning and growing. What a season motherhood is and you are on the other side of it. What accomplishments you could share, what stories and wisdom you must have.
Thank you. Thank you for putting up with us, for sticking it out, for loving us so much that you disciplined us, taught us, and cared for our every need. Thank you for being the mom we are now trying to be. Even if we can’t be there with you, please know you are loved, you are appreciated, and you are the best mom we could have ever hoped for. Really.
There’s another mama out there. A hurting mama. This one is for you dear sweet mama. Yes you. The mama who is trying and trying and yet being told you are not good enough. The mama who loves and teaches her children, who goes to the seminars, who listens to the podcasts, who makes the homemade brownies and even lets her kids help, who does all she knows how to do, who stays up late and wakes up early just trying to get it right… and yet that voice tells you it’s not worth a thing.
That voice tells you you are a bad mom, that you are worthless, that you should give up trying because you will never make it. I have heard that voice. For me it was an audible voice from the closest person to me. For you it may be a whisper from the depths of your own heart. I know how much that hurts. It’s a pain I am still hoping will go away, that will at least fade in time, but it has yet to. Here is my humble and meek advice.
Don’t listen. Somewhere deep inside you know that voice is wrong. You know that voice is not true. Don’t listen. Saturate yourself in the word so that the voice of God becomes so loud and so clear, it mutes out any other sound. God says you are worthy, lovely, perfectly made, redeemed, chosen, cherished, forgiven, and loved. This is who you are. You are not worthless, you are an amazing mom, no matter what that voice says. No matter who they are, what position they hold, how loudly they yell it, how many times they say it.
You are worthy and God sees you… and He is proud of you. He is proud of His daughter and His heart aches that you are hearing that voice come against you. Hold your babies, look into their eyes, and know you are deeply and fully loved.
Whatever place, whatever season you are in, I pray you have a blessed and peace-filled Mother’s Day and every day.
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