“a woman who copes successfully with the simultaneous demands of a career, marriage, and motherhood… a woman who fulfills her many roles with apparently superhuman efficiency.”
Does that sound like you?
It sure sounds like me! I’ve totally got it all together; living the dream as a successful blogger with a marriage that any woman would be jealous of and kids who are more well-behaved than the Von Trapps.
Ummm… just ignore the messy hair and raccoon eyes I’m still sporting at noon. And please don’t look at how dirty my bathroom toilet is. Or pay attention to the faint urine smell of my master bedroom. Or notice when I raise my voice at my daughters for the umpteenth time in a day.
Starting to get the picture? No matter how things may look from afar, not one of us has it ALL together ALL of the time.
But we all want to be superwoman, don’t we?
What if I told you that it’s possible? Not in the fake, superficial, pretend-to-have-it-all-together kind of way. But in a meaningful and joyful way that allows you to experience YOUR life to its fullest potential.
In order to redefine and achieve “superwoman” status, we need to be intentional about the following four things:
Learn to say “no”
Especially in Christian circles, this can be a challenge. Is there some secret 11th commandment that says, “Thou shalt not say no” that I don’t know about?
Whether you’re a Christian or not, society doesn’t take “no” very kindly. Saying “yes” is perceived as more positive, more selfless, and more desirable. But saying yes to everything can also be very negative, selfish and ugly.
Are you saying yes because you want to feel good about yourself or you want others to think highly of you? Not a great reason.
Do you feel bitter and resentful for taking on more than you can handle? Not a great attitude.
Is your family or your own well-being suffering because you’re spending too much time on the demands of others? Not a great outcome.
You can’t be superwoman if you spend all your time working harder, doing more, and feeling resentful for saying “yes” to too many of the wrong things. To be superwoman, you need to learn to say no to some things.
Be okay with imperfect
If you say “no” to people or to tasks, then you’re going to have to throw “perfect” out the window. You may have to be okay with an imperfect home, an imperfect body, and an imperfect wardrobe.
In addition, people aren’t going to see you as perfect anymore when you say “no” to baking ten dozen cookies for your daughter’s school bake sale or to hosting a dinner for your husband’s boss and his wife. Being superwoman does not mean you’re perfect.
Remember that toilet I was telling you about? By saying “no” to cleaning my bathroom, I could say “yes” to snuggling my daughter. When you choose to say “no,” you are giving yourself the opportunity to say “yes” to something more important.
Take care of yourself
As selfish as it sounds, you come first. I get that you feel guilty for spending time on yourself and pressured to keep up with the demands of others, but you cannot give to others what you yourself do not have!
You must take care of yourself spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically if you hope to be able to be effective at whichever roles you hold.
One of the common excuses we hear (and say) is “I don’t have time for that.” A more truthful statement would be “I haven’t made time for that.”
Here are two of my favourite quotes that I use to keep me motivated to be intentional with my time:
“You will never “find” time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.” -Charles Bruxton
“If you want to make good use of your time, you’ve got to know what’s most important and then give it all you’ve got.” -Lee Iacocca
The second quote leads into the most important thing we need to do if we want to be superwomen.
Establish your priorities
This is what it all boils down to: what are your priorities?
Being superwoman means doing what matters, not doing it all.
If it’s important to you to have a clean house, then spend more time cleaning your house. If it’s important to you to make all your meals from scratch, then make all your meals from scratch. If it’s important to you that your kids are homeschooled, then homeschool your kids.
If all those things are important to you, then you’ll make the time! But just remember two of the previous points: learn to say no and be okay with imperfect.
You can’t DO all things and you can’t BE all things. Make time for the people and tasks that are most important to you, and be okay with everything else getting less of your time and attention.
So, are you ready? Let’s redefine what it means to be superwoman and start living our lives with more purpose and joy!